Sensitivity

"I don't want anyone at the restaurant to see me.  I hate the way I look."

As middle graders mature, their bodies start changing in uncontrollable ways.  Examples:  acne, growth spurts, facial hair.  This often makes them feel awkward about their appearance. 

Suggestions:

When your child makes negative comments about his appearance, listen to what he says.  Try to avoid immediately reassuring him.  Instead, make comments that prompt him to describe his feelings.  Example: "That must be really tough."  This encourages him to open up about his emotions.

Make your comments in a matter-of-fact tone.  Middle graders are likely to find joking and teasing hurtful, even if you're just trying to be funny. 

Talk about how you felt when you were his age.  If he doesn't believe you, pull out old photos.  He will quickly see that you're telling the truth.  Gently explain that his friends probably feel the same way about their bodies.  Let him know that these changes will be less and less noticeable as he gets older. 

You Can't Study This!

Thank you Mrs. V for sharing this video on Cornell Notes!

Privacy

Has a sign that reads, "Keep out.  This means you!" suddenly appeared on your child's door?

It's natural for middle graders to want more privacy as they grow older.  They're beginning to see themselves as unique individuals who need more space.  Also, changes in their bodies during puberty may make them want to stake out an area of the house as their own. 

Suggestions: 
The next time your middle grader shouts, "Just leave me alone" and slams the door, consider taking his advice.  He may be trying to say, "This room is my private area."  Having a private place can help him cool off and relax.  If you haven't already established rules such as "Knock before opening a closed door," consider doing so.  Tell your middle grader that you respect his need for privacy and expect the same treatment in return.  Chances are he'll understand where you're coming from.  Allowing your child to have privacy doesn't mean he has complete control over the room, however.  Let him know your expectations on how the room is kept (dirty clothes in laundry basket, no trash on floor, etc.). 

Attention Parents of Moody Teens!

Does this sound familiar?
"One minute my child wants my help with homework, and the next minute she wants me to leave her alone."
This behavior may make you wonder what's going on.  The answer is simple.  Your child is becoming an adolescent.  Middle graders tend to be very moody.  One minute they're happy, and the next they're angry.  These sudden moods can be difficult to predict and even harder to cope with. 

Suggestions: 
The best approach parents can take is to ignore as much of this erratic behavior as possible.  Changing hormone levels in your child make it next to impossible for him or her to control their emotions.  So, what do you do? 
First, keep in mind that their moods have little to do with you - and try not to take them personally.  If you don't comment, chances are they'll disappear as quickly as they arrived.  The more attention you give them, the longer they're likely to stick around. 
However this doesn't give your middle graders a license to walk all over you.  Tell them that you understand they are upset, but they don't have the right to upset the rest of the household.  Suggest they go to another room if they are not feeling sociable.  When they come out, try to forget anything happened.  They will probably forget about it too!